Saturday, July 18, 2009

Ectomy, Ostomy, Whatever - Just glad its over

I'm at home recovering from a bit of outpatient sinus surgery. What was originally planned as a 4 hour outpatient surgical stay ended up being an overnight inpatient visit.

I can't pronounce - much less spell - the two procedures the surgeon performed. Some kind of ectomy and some kind of ostomy I think. One had to do with some sort of roto-rooter cleaning out of the upper chambers of my sinuses, and the over had to do with repairing a deviated septum.

As I understand it, the septum separates the right and left nasal passages. The cartilage should be fairly even down the center of your nose. As a visual illustration of it, think of the pretty straight route of the Mississippi River.


But based on the results of the MRI I had performed a few weeks ago...

...my septum apparently was shaped more like the Tennessee River...at least when the map is turned sideways.

GIF animations generator gifup.com

I have no idea how my septum deviated or why it chose to do so. But my doc said it was likely a big cause of my sinus issues, snoring, and speaking so nasally (combined with being born-and-bred Tennessean).

As part of the procedure, my doctor jammed two foam "splints" up my nose to control the bleeding. I had to leave them in 24 hours. The official name was a "splint", but the nurses cackled when they told me I had two tampons up my nose. They laughed - I did not.

But if I had laughed and blown out the splints, I guess the outcome would have been better than when Doug McKenzie started laughing on the witness stand after using two of the bailiff's bullets to stop his own nose bleed.



Once I shed this look (and no - that is not an over-sized milk mustache), they cut me loose & to home I headed.

Perhaps I should file this blog entry under Too Much Info vs. Too Much Country.

TMC

4 comments:

  1. Is your voice different? Are you going to sound like Cary Grant next time I see you?

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  2. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT...AFTER WAKEING UP FROM OF MY BACK OPERATION, I HAD TWO THIRTY SOMETHING NURSES TELL ME THAT THAY HAVE SEEN AND PLAYED WITH BETTER ONES THAN MINE. UDR

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  3. I like the moustache. You should keep it.

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  4. Oh dear! That is quite a sight. I don't know about the too much info part, but I like the idea of the Cary Grant voice (Tony Curtis did a pretty darn good rendition in "Some Like it Hot").

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