Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Fuzzy Christmas Flashback

Its hard for me to believe, but I've been at this blogging business for about a year now. One of my first posts from late 2008 was the Christmas family tradition of all the females in the house sacking out on whatever couch or loveseat was available. Photographic evidence was provided.

Shortly after I wrote that entry - and got away with it around the house (so far), I committed myself to helping take the tradition to the next level for 2009. In order to do so, I spoke to the jolly old fat guy from the north pole and asked him to hook up all the ladies in the house with a Snuggie.

His response? "Ho, ho, horses**t - even I'm not that stupid. Do it yourself." So I did. A couple of co-workers coached me up by helping me believe it was a good idea, offering color suggestions, and ID'ing names of stores around town who sold them. I had no clue it was going to be so difficult to find these things.

So I loaded up my Dodge Dakota 4x4 sleigh for Christmas Eve and made plans to deliver 5 gift wrapped Snuggies:
  • A blue one for my daughter
  • A green one for the wife
  • A brown one of the ma-in-law (MIL)
  • A pink one for my niece, and
  • A leopard print one for the sister-in-law (SIL)
The first part of the plot went off without a hitch. I bought them and stored them at the office. With gift wrapping help from cheerful, female, co-worker, friends, each was wrapped far neater than any effort I could have made. And each gift had a handwritten name tag in penmanship other than my own.

The second part of the plan - delivery - also went smoothly. Because we took two vehicles to my in-laws (long story - but it gave me an escape plan before the rest of the family was ready to return), I easily transported the Snuggies and even got them to my father-in-law's (FIL) garage without being noticed.

The third phase had just a minor hiccup. I had planned to be the last one to go to bed Christmas Eve - allowing me to put the gifts under the tree without being noticed. What I had not planned was (1) FIL roaming around doing pretty much nothing from 10 PM to midnight and (2) SIL choosing to sleep on the couch in the very room where the tree was. I couldn't possibly begin to explain to FIL what was happening so I reduced it to "you didn't see anything" as if I could hyp-no-tize him. To my SIL, I begged her cooperation but then offered a mild threat that I could withdraw one of the gifts should she give me up on Christmas morn.

The next morning, my niece was the first to find the gifts. That's how it should have gone down anyway. Kids and the wonderment of Christmas - it just doesn't get any better than that does it? In no time, she ripped the paper (delicate "unwrappers" annoy me), had hers out of the box and sported it for all to see. The jig was pretty well up at that point because of the same size gifts addressed only to the females in the house.

My niece was already wearing here before my daughter could even get hers unwrapped.

But once my girl got her blue one unwrapped, the Snuggie faux rock concert was ON!

SIL had to bite her tongue when she unwrapped her leopard one. I'm not sure she was too thrilled with my color choice for her, but she also knew better than to out me lest she get de-snuggied. At least she posed with it for me...sorta.

I snapped a couple of pics of my wife opening and then wearing hers. But with no makeup and a morning bedhead hair-do, I'm like Santa in that I'm not that stupid to post them here for all the world to see.

MIL was the mystery of the bunch. While she said she had quietly wanted one, she discretely took it to her bedroom with other gifts. It did not make a return appearance in the remaining time I was there. Instead, she turned into friggin' Mrs. Peacock from Clue trying to determine who was the mystery Santa. Was it FIL or was it me? She kept this tiresome routine up for most of Christmas night and into Saturday. I was almost at the point of cracking her in the head with a candlestick in the conservatory if it didn't stop.

My original hope was for all of them to find a point during my time at the in-laws for an organized, group nap. It didn't happen Christmas day as we were on the go. The next choice was the day after. As it turned out, however, SIL had to leave on Saturday to get her kids to her ex. So two females down - three to go.

About two hours after SIL's departure, I realized the excitement of my day at the in-laws had pretty well peaked at the moment I opened my eyes that morning. So bored out of mind, tired of accused of being Santa vs. being thanked for Snuggifying everyone, and with nothing else of any substance on the horizon, I packed my gear, loaded the truck, and headed for home. That evening while watching a movie and drinking some Yazoo, I smiled as I read a text from SIL: "we r watching TV on couch w/our Snuggies".

So while I don't have a group Snuggie-sleeping photo to offer this year, I think the experiment was a success nonetheless. And to be honest, I learned a lot as I thought about this whole effort. I now believe the world possesses more Snuggies than I originally believed.

How 'bout you? Post your comments below and/or add your response to the latest poll question here.


No comments:

Post a Comment